At least he didn't get eaten ...

The local paper reports this morning that Jeremy Heifner, an out of state visitor in the area for a friend's wedding, was having a few drinks with friends after the wedding at a local bar.

A few, as in a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.165, twice the legal limit. The old-fashioned word is "drunk", although probably not "drunk as a skunk".

Semantics aside, the paper reports:

"He doesn't know how he got there, but the next thing he knew he was alone in the dark and standing in a watery marsh, covered with mud, scared and disoriented, he reportedly told police.

Not sure if he'd find alligators or other dangerous creatures, Heifner headed toward the brightest lights he could see in the distance. He came to a building that was locked, found a pipe, and broke a glass window that allowed him to get inside, police said.

While inside the building, he picked up a phone - which allowed him to contact the control center at Columbia Correctional Institution. He said he needed help and prison guards responded, police said in the report.

The building Heifner reportedly broke into is a warehouse building belonging to CCI that sits outside the fence. Following his call, the guards took him into custody and called Portage police, who took him to jail, police said."

Heifner is charged with entry into a building and criminal damage to property, and is free on $400 bail.

Breaking into a prison. That's a first, even for Wisconsin. But at least Heifner didn't get eaten by alligators. That's a plus ...